A Multiplicity of Advisors-The Process of Reclaiming Disassociated Parts of Ourselves, and Healing From Traumas from Present or Past Lives.
Writer's note:
When we begin the process of healing from our human condition, we never know in advance what direction our path will lead us. Such is the case for me.
During a meditation on July 21, 1987, , I had a profound spiritual teaching, with a most confusing revelation, too. I I could see the field of energy that constituted my “body/mind awareness”. I saw embedded in it two almost complete thought forms, or identity forms, which I recognized as two distinct “entities”. Yes, I had two ‘extras’ attached to my field, and they were not there for my greater good, for sure. I came to regard these two unwelcome components to my life force as “tricksters”, though I noted that their presence seemed to allay the feelings of loneliness of my ego, perhaps only because they seemed vaguely familiar to me. I sensed that I was supposed to let go of these “illusions of self”, but I did not know what to do. The two extra identity vortices in the ‘human energy field matrix’ that constituted my conscious sense of self did not really ever disappear, they just became unconscious again, for me. Little did I know that they were to become the most critical components to understand in my desire to heal from trauma and the unhealed wounding from past lives and form a better ongoing human/spiritual experience.
Part 1: Unraveling the Wounded Energy Vortices of the Soul
The tapestry of our lives is often far richer and more intricate than it first appears. Lying beneath the surface of a singular human experience may be countless threads spun from past incarnations or disassociated aspects of the present self, each holding the echoes of forgotten traumas, triumphs, and incomplete journeys. To see ourselves merely as products of our present lifetime and what we are currently conscious of as ourselves is to miss the spiritual complexity that has shaped the contours of our energy field.
Two such vortices have shaped mine, mirroring fragments of past lives that resonate powerfully in my present. One seems to emerge from a life as an ancient shaman, a healer tethered to the spiritual forces of the earth. The other, from the life of Bobby Clements, an ill-fated WWII pilot surrounded by camaraderie and sacrifice but plagued by loss. Together, they weave a narrative of wounding, healing, and the reclamation of wholeness.
On July 21, 1987, during a profound meditation, I was granted a unique, though temporary vision where I gazed into the energetic matrix of my existence. For the first time, the substrate of what I'd come to know as "my self" revealed two distinct and potent energy vortices within my human life field, in addition to my witnessing presence.. Each bore the imprint of a past life, not as harmonious integrations, but as unresolved fragments that had remained entangled with my current incarnation.
One vortex belonged to the essence of an ancient shaman. This being held the power of deep spiritual connection, one that flowed seamlessly between realms of the seen and unseen. And yet, this past life had not been immune to trauma. This shaman forced his village to face their shadow without the help of gods and idols, and I feel certain that the village shadow prematurely ended his life for blasphemy. Sacrifices and spiritual battles from that incarnation had left wounds that persisted in my present consciousness and its supporting field of energy.
The second vortex bore the mark of Bobby Clements, an RAF pilot who had perished in WWII. A life defined by leadership, loyalty, and the anguish of unmet aspirations, this energy was less about warfare and more about the brotherhood and deep loss that echoed far beyond his final moments when his plane, filled with his friends from childhood, was shot out of the sky on a 1940 mission over Germany..
What was once unconscious became visible during that meditation, and although it filled me with clarity, it also left me with profound questions and uncertainty. How could I, immersed in the present, heal from the shadows of lives that had long since extinguished? And in this revelation, what role could these embedded traumas play in my spiritual evolution?
The shamanic vortex was deeply rooted in the archetype of the wounded healer, a paradox I have often lived without fully understanding. My childhood was rife with night terrors, bed wetting, abandonment fears, and a desperate yearning for connection that rarely found its nourishment in peers. Yet, intuitively, I always bridged my inner world with spiritual forces I could barely name. Just as the shaman of old must tear away illusions of their own identity to serve others fully, my past as a shaman called me to release layers of ego and projection.
The priest from my childhood dream, who cast golden idols into the lake and summoned the fog veiling his own deepest fears, feels like an echo of this identity. The lesson was clear yet terrifying—to confront the unresolved energies of my past lives, I had to be vulnerable enough to face their darkness. I also had to let go of all tethers to religious misunderstanding dominating whatever age that I appeared within. This process began with deep meditation but extended into deliberate acts of reconciliation with my younger self in this incarnation and the neglected parts formed through the unrecognized and unresolved traumas of my childhood.
The name Bobby Clements arose as vividly as if I’d spoken it aloud during a series of three dreams on three consecutive nights in 1987. At first, this vivid narrative felt almost too fantastical to take seriously. Yet, the details were so poignant and consistent. I was shown a young man from Nova Scotia, a person full of hope, companionship, and sense of duty for the protection of others entering into WWII alongside five close friends, only to perish together in the skies.
Thirty four years later, internet research by my sister Pam confirmed nearly every detail of these visions. That past life had carried with it a core wound of unfulfilled dreams. Despite my early aspirations to join the Air Force and the ROTC plans I set into motion in my youth, life circumstances prevented me from stepping into that reality in this incarnation. Fragments of unhealed grief turned inward against myself, manifesting as a suicide attempt in 1986, culminating in the desire to dissolve the self altogether.
Seeking Bobby Clemens wasn’t just an intellectual pursuit. It was a spiritual act of acknowledgment. To this day, his frustrations, loyalties, aversion to fascist leaders, and ultimate sacrifice continue to mirror parts of myself that long for resolution. His unfulfilled potential—to be a leader and experience a professionally productive and unencumbered, joyous life filled with friendship in a land far beyond war—is a dream I now carry forward consciously.
What these vortices have taught me is that healing is rarely bound by the timeline of one life. The wounds we bear today often transcend what we dismiss as "only childhood" or "just this life." They are echoes reverberating through the chambers of multiple realities, requiring not only personal introspection but a deep spiritual honoring of what brought them into being.
Healing these pains and distortions requires several key steps:
Recognition (the act of naming what haunts us): Just as I came to realize the shaman and Bobby Clemens were significant vortices within my energy field, we must honor our inner acknowledgment of dissonance, no matter how irrational it may first appear.
Integration (inviting the fragments back home): Both my past lives taught me to claim, rather than reject, the vulnerable parts of my soul. This takes time, trust, and radical honesty with oneself.
Awareness Beyond ‘the Now’ (transcending human temporal constraints): Healing extends beyond the narrative of this individual life. To heal from all incarnations means acknowledging that time simply creates the context for understanding the cycles of spiritual growth.
These vortices are no longer my captors; they are companions on my expansive spiritual path. They teach me that while wounding itself may arise from the finite journeys we've made, healing belongs to something much larger. Healing does not happen alone, but in communion with the timeless essence of our shared human and spiritual experience.
To those on their own journeys of disassociation, trauma, and shadow work, the message is this: we carry the weight of wounds older than we realize. But within us also lies the light of countless lifetimes, waiting patiently to illuminate pathways to freedom.
1. The Actual Dream Of The Shaman, in 1964
At eight, I had a most unique, realistic dream. The dream appeared when I slept very little, as I usually got to sleep no earlier than midnight, no matter how early I went to bed. I lay in bed and reviewed the day every night before sleep, seeing where I could have done things better or said something differently. By this poin6 my dreams had finally evolved beyond the continuous nightmare phase I had been terrified by prior to age 8.
Here is the dream:
Having received his directive from "on high," the priest returned to his village along the lake in the high mountain region. He gathered all of the villagers together and informed them that they were to take every golden figurine, every sacred symbol that they owned, and they were to throw them all into the lake, and never to think about them again. Then, he told each villager that they must go into their own home and face the "evil one" without any protection or care from their gods or their sacred symbols. The priest then returned to his own home, having tossed all of his own idols and treasures into the deep blue lake. He stripped himself bare of all clothing and then began summoning the dark forces. He became surrounded by a fog, and as he lifted his hands, sparks started flying out of his fingertips at the unknown force of darkness that lay just beyond his visual field, still hidden beyond the boundaries of the fog. The priest refocused his energy into his arms and hands, and the sparks grew into a steady energy field, extending from his body, his heart, and his spirit towards his unknown adversary. He was determined to overcome this force, this dark energy, and he redoubled his efforts. The priest's heart began to race out of control, sweat profusely, and a growing sense of fear and dread began to take hold of his entire being as he finally understood that his energy could not last forever. To continue this battle, he must sacrifice all of his life force. Yet, he felt that he had no choice but to keep engaging the enemy, to finally see the face of the force that had terrorized his village since time began. He desperately strained and stretched to see the object of his fear and disdain, even as the ebbing energy field flowing from his fingertips continued to cut through the fog. Suddenly, a face began materializing before his faltering gaze. As he collapsed to the floor, almost drained of all life, he could no longer fight an undeniable truth-- the face of the evil one might be his own!
The dream of the mountain lake community of people, with the priest (me) fighting the force of darkness, is still quite alive in my mind and remains a significant teaching for me as both a child and now as an adult. Idolatry and psychological projection are the modern names for the phenomena shown to me in the dream world. Being so immature and not too worldly in my knowledge, I did not have the necessary background to know what to think about the dream at the time. I discussed the dream with my older sister, who seemed to have some partial answers to its mysteries (based on her understanding of reincarnation), but so many mysteries remained for me. I waited, watched for further answers, and went on with the important business of being a carefree boy, though at times, I fleetingly experienced "self-awareness."
2. The Dreams of Bobby Clemens, April 1987
In April of 1987, after I had been sober for about one month after 16 years of hell, I had a series of three dreams, on three consecutive nights.
In the first dream, I was an early teenager, hanging out with 4 or 5 other boys, who were my buddies. My name, in the dream, was Bobby Clements.
In the second dream, we are all enlisting, as a group, to enter WWII. We told the recruiter that we all wanted to fly on the same plane, or we would not accept service. We were promised that the Air Force would do everything in their power to make sure that we all were on duty in the same location, and, perhaps, share space on the same military aircraft
In the third dream, I am piloting an aircraft, with all of my buddies assuming support roles. We are flying into anti-aircraft shelling turbulence, and I can no longer keep the aircraft under control. My buddies stay in their positions, but apparently whatever hit us from below, is a fatal blow. I know that we are all going to die. The dream ends.
I researched Bobby Clements substantially for two months (prior to advent of the internet) later in 1987. I had seen a park with the last name that I was researching south of Salem towards the coast, and drove to Philomath, Oregon with my wife Sharon, researching the Clements family there, but I came up short.
Several decades later, my sister took up the search for me. My sister is a STRONG BELIEVER in reincarnation, and she has memories from her own past life experiences.
In her research, she came up with Robert "Bobby" Kelly Clements, of Nova Scotia, Canada.. Robert flew a Lancaster bomber for the RAF out of England, and he was allowed to hand pick his crew, according to the records. He picked his five Nova Scotia friends!
His story was identical to what I saw in the three dream sequence, according to the family reports that she had read about "Bobby", too.
Part 2: Revisiting the Unraveling of Wounded Energy Vortices and the Path to Wholeness
The human experience is infinitely layered, a mosaic of moments, emotions, and energies that transcend the boundaries of a single lifetime. For those embarking on the profound spiritual endeavor of healing, the path often reveals itself in unexpected and mysterious ways. What lies beneath the surface of our conscious awareness isn’t just the residue of childhood or this life alone. It is an intricate web of energies, stories, and wounds that echo across time, demanding acknowledgment and integration, not dismissal.
I explore a lesser-discussed concept in spiritual growth and healing: the presence of wounded energy vortices within the soul. These are remnants from past lives or disassociated parts of the present self that reside quietly in our unconscious until they surface, compelling us to reconcile and harmonize our fragmented energies. The way forward is not a battle against these vortices but a dialogue with them, an act of recognition and reintegration on a spiritual plane.
To see ourselves as mere products of our current life experience is to oversimplify an intricate spiritual reality. Human consciousness is not a singular, fixed entity. It comprises fragments and echoes from past lives, ancestral memories, and archetypes of the collective unconscious. The soul houses wounds older than the body it inhabits, wrapped delicately in layers of forgotten incarnations.
Yet, many of us live within the confines of "the now," unable to fathom the depth of these fragments' influence. Cultural norms and modern-day psychology have conditioned us to frame our challenges within the narrative of our childhoods or current circumstances. While this understanding is significant, it isn’t always the full picture. Healing requires expanding the lens through which we view ourselves, inviting in the complexity and timelessness of the soul.
For me, this realization arose from a vivid spiritual revelation. During a meditation on July 21, 1987, I encountered two distinct energy vortices within my "body/mind awareness." These were more than the fragments of my psyche; they were entities unto themselves, carrying with them the unresolved energies of past lives. Initially, these “extras” appeared as tricksters in my spiritual field, allaying my ego’s loneliness while obscuring my ability to see the truth clearly. I came to know these beings as the enduring echoes of a spiritual healer from ancient times and a WWII pilot named Bobby Clemens. Together, they were pieces of my fragmented energy field demanding acknowledgment. But the question loomed large: How do we heal what seems beyond this lifetime?
Recognition is the first step in any healing process. These energy vortices do not emerge as straightforward figures. Instead, they manifest as patterns in your energy field, recurring dreams, vivid meditations, or deeply embedded emotions that feel larger than this life alone.
For me, the presence of these fragments first unfolded in dreams and meditative insights. The shaman within my energy field carried with him the duality of immense spiritual power and profound spiritual sacrifice. He represented the archetype of the "wounded healer," asking me as his modern counterpart to confront the parts of myself that were tangled in ego and projection. His echo rippled through my childhood experiences, marked by abandonment fears and night terrors, yet also by inexplicable spiritual connections to unseen realms.
The second vortex, Bobby Clemens, emerged in a series of three hauntingly vivid dreams. He was an RAF pilot from WWII, a leader bound by loyalty and camaraderie to his friends, whose life was cut short in battle. Decades later, my sister’s research into past life connections confirmed the details of these dreams, validating my inner knowing. Bobby carried with him the ache of unfinished potential, as his life ended abruptly amidst the storms of war. But his presence taught me something profound: our unfulfilled aspirations and buried grief do not dissolve when a lifetime ends; they carry forward into the present, waiting for us to meet them with compassion.
These vortices are not enemies to be defeated nor flaws to be eradicated. They are parts of ourselves asking for a seat at the table of integration. To heal, we must invite these fragments into dialogue and listen earnestly to the stories they hold.
Acknowledging the presence of these energies is the doorway to healing. For me, it began with naming Bobby Clemens and the shaman as integral but fragmented parts of my consciousness. Their stories became clearer when I chose to pay attention to recurring dreams, emotional triggers, and moments of profound déjà vu.
Integration requires radical honesty and patience. My work with the shaman required confronting my ego and illusions of self. It also meant remaining vulnerable to the parts of my energy field that harbored woundedness. For Bobby Clemens, integration meant grieving not just for his life, but for the parts of myself that carried his unfulfilled dreams. Counseling, spiritual meditation, and even acts of symbolic recognition (like honoring the sacrifices made in war) became pivotal to this integration.
Healing cannot be confined to the narrative of this life. Modern psychology, while invaluable, often stops short of addressing the larger arc of the soul. Spiritual teachings suggest that our wounds may originate from lifetimes beyond this one, weaving a continuity that binds past, present, and future into a single tapestry. Awareness of this continuum expands our capacity to integrate and release what no longer serves us.
Healing is neither linear nor bound by time. It is a spiral, an ongoing process that demands courage and deep self-awareness. By unraveling the wounded energy vortices of the soul, we begin to see that healing extends beyond the individual self. If each of us is truly, as Krishnamurti suggests, "the entirety of humanity," then personal healing is a radical act of collective liberation.
We must study ourselves, however uncomfortable or uncertain the process may feel. Through introspection, dream interpretation, and deliberate acts of self-discovery, we expand our understanding of who we are and where we’ve come from. Healing wounded energies isn’t just a spiritual task; it’s a commitment to rediscover the love and compassion clouded by layers of trauma and separation.
What might it look like to truly face the wounded vortices within your energy field? Beyond techniques, it requires a willingness to live inside the tension of these questions without rushing to resolve them. Healing asks us to bear witness to the fragments of ourselves, to invite them home, and to honor their lessons as gifts rather than burdens.
The invitation is a challenging one, but the rewards are infinite. To heal the wounds of the soul is to reclaim your wholeness. It is to reach beyond the present and tether yourself to the expansive mystery of existence. It is to build a life rooted in love—not just for yourself, but for the entirety of humanity.
Start by asking the questions your soul yearns to answer. What parts of yourself need acknowledgment? What energies or stories are ready to come home? And how might their healing illuminate the potential of your greater wholeness?
To those ready to take the first step, consider therapy, meditation, and spiritual practices that align with your inner quest. Understanding the layers of the human energy field requires more than intellectual curiosity. It requires courage. Start small. Begin today. The path to wholeness is less about arriving at an endpoint and more about becoming reacquainted with who you’ve always been.
Part 3: Addendum; Reinterpreting My Present Incarnation
Unraveling Past Life Impact in the Present Incarnation
The layers of our life experiences often mirror the intricate patterns of a weaving loom, where each thread represents emotional, physical, or spiritual imprints from different stages of existence. My personal narrative demonstrates how past-life traumas and unresolved energy vortices laid foundational influences that shaped my human and spiritual development in this lifetime. By examining the echoes of past incarnations, such as the ancient shaman or Bobby Clements, alongside formative childhood experiences, a clear theme emerges that intertwines the threads of past and present wounding.
1. The Shamanic Archetype of Wounded Healing
The spiritual identity of a shaman born from a past life carries compelling resonance in this incarnation. Shamanic trauma from being persecuted by the very people I sacrificed for links directly to early signs of fractured spiritual trust. This past-life vortex introduced the paradox of healing and wounding. It reflects in my childhood fears of abandonment, vivid night terrors, and the incessant yearning to connect deeply with others.
The shaman’s duty to strip illusions and confront shadows parallels the way my spiritual and emotional wounds surfaced in this life. My need to tear down the facade of superficial human bonds finds its roots in these shamanic wounds. Early childhood confrontations with authority, harsh punishment, and the sense of being misunderstood or isolated are echoes of that archetype, suggesting a recurring pattern across lifetimes.
2. Bobby Clements and the Underpinnings of Unfulfilled Promises
The sense of incompleteness attached to the personality imprint of Bobby Clements presented as very tangible struggles with unrealized potential and a conflict between duty and personal aspirations. Bobby’s narrative involved camaraderie, loyalty, and tragic loss, which cross through the threads of my early life experiences.
For example, my deep longing to form meaningful male friendships, only to often fall short, finds a direct line to Bobby’s past-life fraternity and its abrupt end in battle. The broader feelings of sacrifice and suppressed potential align closely with my childhood struggles to achieve recognition, make lasting connections, or meet higher aspirations. Bobby’s imprints also explain my inclination toward loyalty and protection alongside my frustration whenever faced with authoritarian or fascist influences, all of which replay as a karmic cycle in this incarnation.
Childhood provided fertile ground for the manifestation of karmic challenges inherited from these past-life vortices. Issues like hyperactive behavior, difficulty forming secure bonds, and nighttime terror were receptors of these resonances. They acted as signals pointing toward unhealed aspects of older selves weighing on my present consciousness.
1. Nightly Battles with Shadows
The nightly nightmares of abandonment and fear channeled unresolved energies both from this life’s parental dynamics and the metaphoric shadows lingering from past soul journeys. This combined dread gave rise to patterns like bedwetting, hyper-analysis of my actions, and relentless self-criticism at nightfall, echoing shamanic archetypes of unresolved spiritual burdens.
2. The Rocking Chair Memory
My childhood attachment to seemingly mundane objects speaks to psychometry traits, and perhaps past-life recognition embedded in everyday reality. Uncle Worth’s chair, a chair that I recognized as a four-year old through a memory I should not have had access to in this life, reinforced grounding mechanisms, providing fleeting peace amidst the chaos caused by karmic and familial imbalances.
1. Family Dynamics Reflecting Archetypal Struggles
My complicated relationship with my sister, Pam, mirrors competitive undertones rooted in scarcity consciousness familiar to both past incarnations. She became an inadvertent mirror to my father’s energy and reinforced a pattern of seeking external affirmation while internal rivalries controlled my early developmental years.
2. Seeking Connection and Unconscious Guilt
The sensitivity to loss and relational incompleteness further aligns with Bobby Clements’ unresolved energy. This drove me to seek resolution through early dependency on women as anchors of safety, mirroring a tendency to bond emotionally deeply but often in unfulfilled ways.
Each aspect of self, whether born out of past-life archetypes or childhood traumas, contributes to the unfolding story of spiritual evolution. By acknowledging these energy vortices in meditation, expressing them through narrative, and healing their distortions, I embarked upon the following process toward reclamation and wholeness:
Recognition: Naming specific fragmentations surfaced these energy patterns for full acknowledgment. Whether it was the wounded healer in the shaman or the brave yet tragic Bobby Clements, each became visible.
Integration: Actively engaging with past fragments allowed their stories to find reconciliation in my present consciousness. Through acts of forgiveness (to myself and others), I embraced the previously disjointed elements as teachers, not adversaries.
Transcendence: Healing reached beyond just recounting or intellectually understanding their significance. It demanded allowing timelines to dissolve, seeing patterns as evolutionary cycles, and offering gratitude within the essence of shared spiritual vitality.
Through these pathways, the energy once systemically bound by past-life traumas redirected itself into present-life growth, forming wholeness rather than perpetuating fragmentation.
Implications for Current and Future Incarnations
The lingering scars of a shaman who challenged the shadows and a WWII pilot lost to duty and hope serve today as lessons rather than anchors of reinforcement. Past lives inform present challenges in remarkable clarity when seen from the lens of healing archetypes. By shifting the lens, wounds become stories of eventual renewal.
Where once I saw loneliness or incompletion, I now see roots connecting multiple layers of identity. Each incarnation wears its wounds like a badge of leadership and a beacon of guidance for ongoing spiritual discovery, leading toward collective harmony and deeper understanding.
To those walking their own mysterious journeys of existential questioning and trauma recognition, I offer this thought:
Even the pain we carry that feels insurmountable is a gift nested within lifetimes of experience. These wounds are not there to punish us; they are there because they contain the seeds of immeasurable light. Healing, though never linear, teaches us that our capacity to reconcile fragments is infinite. The process may unravel layer after layer, but within each lies the essence of our shared longing for wholeness.